Saturday, April 30, 2005

That Which I Loathe

I have already accepted the fact that I am an anal-retentive person (like seriously - I refused to go to the bathroom as a kid). But there are some things in this world that simply drive me nuts. It may be ignorance on my part, but I just can't help it:

*any shopping center or mall in the country the day after Thanksgiving;


*opera - why does it take a 3-hour aria for someone to say that the queen is dead when we didn't even know she was sick, the princess is a brat, the king is up to his testicles in despair, and the natives are getting restless - and all in Italian, yet?;

*ballet - why does it take 4 hours for someone to dance the same scenario?;

*that I still have not come out formally to my brothers;

*MTV's REAL WORLD - Geez, what a bunch of bitchy spoiled brats!;

*when someone else either makes my bed or folds my laundry for me - the gesture is sweet, but it's not how I do it;

*people who hold conversations by yelling at each other from 100 or more feet apart;

*being allergic to strawberries -- besides vanilla ice cream and Oreos, they're the easiest dessert in the world to serve;

*reaching for the milk carton in the refrigerator and finding it empty – completely;

*that I have two ex-boyfriends that I no longer want to speak to - ever;

*selling things door to door to raise money for a school trip;

*telemarketers;

*walnuts in my brownies, bananas in my Jello, raisins in my cookies – in short, food in my food;

*being born on Good Friday and for the rest of my life, not having my birthday fall back on that day;

*that it is my responsibility to supplement the difference between $2.13 an hour and minimum wage to a food server who was ungracious;

*dirty dishes in the sink;

*Busch Gardens in Tampa Bay, Florida -- WHATTA DUMP!;

*strippers (both make and female);

*Dick Cheney;

*not having a date on New Year's Eve, even when I seem to be dating someone at the time;

*men who come on to me who already have a partner;

*cars that block the intersection;

*rats;

*employees who bitch about their jobs in front of me and while they’re working;

*completely losing touch with Kathy, Matt, Caroline, Leigh, Bill, Joe, Arlene and other close friends from college;

*my legs;

*not being able to cook;

*no snow on Christmas Day;

*when someone borrows my car and doesn't put the seat back in its original position;

*the check-out person at the express lane of a grocery store who shoves the bag in my face before I have time to organize my money in my wallet;

*that people choose to culturally and racially segregate themselves: African-Americans, Asian-Americans, South Carolinians, etc.;

*never having a snow shovel until after the first big storm;

*visiting Disney World in Florida three times in 16 months, being overexposed to it and never really wanting to go back again as long as I live;

*people who tail you in their cars while you're walking to your car in parking lots so that they can get a closer space; these people can walk the fourteen miles inside the mall but not the additional 50 feet in the parking lot;

*that I had to stop donating blood because I'm gay;

*bad drivers;

*not spending more time with my now-deceased Grandmother;

*AIDS;

*cancer;

*taxes;

*hunger;

*poverty;

*slowing down