My first night out to a dance club in several months this past Saturday night yielded a scenario of racial confusion – that’s right, this blog is about race. (I figure I have attacked smokers, gays, and Tom Cruise, and politics, religion, and republicans are on my “TO DO” list.)
The first guy, a black man named Carl, approached me with a compliment and we stood and talked for a while. After several minutes of talking he asked me if I was “into black men”. I wondered what that was supposed to mean. I responded by saying that “I am not necessarily into black men, but I am into men.” He then responded with, “So that’s a yes, then?”
Maybe an hour later, I met a Latino man. Nice guy, he was, named Leandro. We talked for about 10 minutes and then he asked me if I “like Latinos”.
Black man #2 (who’s name I did not get) greeted me by grabbing my biceps and making a rude comment, which in his mind should have flattered me. When I brushed him off and told him to not touch me, he came back with “Oh right, turn down the black man!” I could not believe my ears. I responded by saying, “No, it’s because you're an idiot.”
I am wondering why this happens.
If another white guy approaches me, I am never asked if I am attracted to other white men, however it is automatically assumed that I do. Now I know there are some men out there, all from different races, who are strictly into men of other races. I personally have dated a few men who are not white. But do we still have to ask these questions of each other?
I sometimes dislike the gay social scene in DC because it is so segregated. All of the bars on 17th Street pander to mostly gay white men. I personally don’t want all of my friends to be gay white men. But that is all I can meet in DC. I can’t go to clubs like Bachelor’s Mill or Elite because I am made to feel unwelcome, and men won’t talk to me because they can’t be seen talking to me. I know this because I have tried this. And in truth, I don’t want to meet men of other races who are “into” white men. I want to meet men of other races who are interested in expanding their views and sharing their lives and experiences.
I am not trying to solve a problem that seems unsolvable. And I don’t think this is just a DC thing. More than once, a man of another race has tried to lecture me on being ignorant to what it is to be judged on physical appearance immediately. HELLO!?! I am big, bald, and tattooed. People who don’t think I am a Nazi supremacist, guess me being a mechanic, a police officer, or having any job requiring overalls. I am instantly judged by everyone who sees me. They have already sized me up – in their own opinions.
Why else would someone ask me if I was “into” another type of man?