Friday, July 01, 2005

Twink-le, Twink-le

I saw my friend Brian at the gym the other night. He is about 26, cute, tall and on the lanky side. Brian got on the subject of age and he commented on me nearing 40 and looking great; that I was growing into who I am supposed to be while he is growing out of who he was. I am heading towards Muscle Daddy, while Brian is growing out of Twink. So then I asked him, “What happens to a Twink when he grows up?” Brian had no answer. (Well, actually, he said, “Maybe we become Ho-Ho’s.”)

It’s one thing to be a Daddy-In-Waiting, like I have been for the last 20 years or so. I never had the glitz and social acceptance in my early 20’s that a Twink enjoys right out of the shoot. If you are skinny and young looking at 22, it works for you in Gay World. And depending on how you work it, you could hold on to your Twinkdom for a few years (although I have seen a few men in their late 30’s and early 40’s who think they are still pulling it off – trust me fellas, you’re not). I think the average shelf-life of a Twink is up to the age of 25, and then they slowly start aging out of it. But where do they go after that?

A Twink can’t graduate to being a Daddy. They are too ingrained with being cute and flirty and fashionable – too much twinkage. Daddies don’t flit around, or wear faux hawks, or even hang in bunches. Daddies are sort of loners. You might see a few of them together, like a pride of male lions, but by and large they operate solo without help from anyone. Twinks travel in packs like nuns. A Twink never goes anyplace alone, he is always part of a gaggle of Twinks – a Twaggle, if you will. A Twink can’t make a decision without consulting the Twaggle. A Daddy makes his own decisions without consulting anyone. So it’s just impossible for a Twink to become a Daddy.

Twinks can’t become Bears for the obvious reason: a Twink is usually smooth(ish). Now a Twink with a little hair on him could possibly graduate into either an Otter, a Cub, a Pup or even a Wolf, but those also require a certain amount of machismo and muscle that Twinks historically just do not possess.

I guess if a Twink holds on to his star power, he can leave the Twaggle to join the A-listers. The A-listers are men in their late 30’s-early 40’s who have managed to keep their looks and land a nice career, house and boyfriend (that they quiety cheat on). However the A-listers are traditionally not seen in bars or clubs; they have house parties where they invite only other A-listers, and attend galas and receptions. Where a Twink would thrive in club or bar, he would be swallowed whole at a gala.

So where do the Twinks go? Having never been one, I guess I am asking this question: What happens to the little Twink once he grows up and leaves the Twaggle?

3 comments:

  1. hmmmm..... Too much vocabulary here... twinks and cubs and otters oh my.

    I think I've been a daddy bear type for some time now.... I'm more of a loner, got the hair part down, and a co-worker grabbed my arm today and said "Dang, I didn't know you worked out so much..." But I think he just wanted a good evaluation.

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  2. First I must say, if this post doesn't reek of a sex in the city monologue, i don't know what does. Second, yes, i would like to know. Being 20, and classified as a twink, where does my future lie?? I think the only way to for a twink to survive is stop being a twink. Go to the gym, bulk up, let a little hair grow on your chest, use age to your advantage, older can be hot too you know. Twinks gotta adjust to the times and make do with what age is giving them, or they just stay the 40 year old twink wannabes that aren't pulling it off.

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  3. I'm going to have to agree with the Sex and the City monologue comment -- not that I have any problem with that! ;)

    What does a twink do when he leaves the twaggle you ask?

    I suppose it gives him the chance to figure out who he really is, rather than the grasping-at-straws-trying-to-belong-be-popular-get-laid-be-thin-be-smooth-be-pretty-wear-labels-buy-brands boy of the past.

    We've all gone through the 'coming out' stage of our lives which begins feeling all alone in the world, like some kind of circus freak and ends quite often with us making a home in a Twaggle or Pride (I'm using pride for bears because I'm not sure if there is a collective form there :D ).

    These groups give a sense of fitting in that we've hungered for, for so long -- we are no longer the sore thumb or the black sheep, but we are "the norm".

    I think the real question here is why do we need these groups and classifications anyway? Do we have to be a twink, bear, cub, wolf, otter, meercat, giraffe, buffalo, zebra or whatever to be satisfied and happy and *shudder* "complete"?

    I hope not!

    My 0.02c,

    Lachlan

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