Friday, July 01, 2005

Twink-le, Twink-le

I saw my friend Brian at the gym the other night. He is about 26, cute, tall and on the lanky side. Brian got on the subject of age and he commented on me nearing 40 and looking great; that I was growing into who I am supposed to be while he is growing out of who he was. I am heading towards Muscle Daddy, while Brian is growing out of Twink. So then I asked him, “What happens to a Twink when he grows up?” Brian had no answer. (Well, actually, he said, “Maybe we become Ho-Ho’s.”)

It’s one thing to be a Daddy-In-Waiting, like I have been for the last 20 years or so. I never had the glitz and social acceptance in my early 20’s that a Twink enjoys right out of the shoot. If you are skinny and young looking at 22, it works for you in Gay World. And depending on how you work it, you could hold on to your Twinkdom for a few years (although I have seen a few men in their late 30’s and early 40’s who think they are still pulling it off – trust me fellas, you’re not). I think the average shelf-life of a Twink is up to the age of 25, and then they slowly start aging out of it. But where do they go after that?

A Twink can’t graduate to being a Daddy. They are too ingrained with being cute and flirty and fashionable – too much twinkage. Daddies don’t flit around, or wear faux hawks, or even hang in bunches. Daddies are sort of loners. You might see a few of them together, like a pride of male lions, but by and large they operate solo without help from anyone. Twinks travel in packs like nuns. A Twink never goes anyplace alone, he is always part of a gaggle of Twinks – a Twaggle, if you will. A Twink can’t make a decision without consulting the Twaggle. A Daddy makes his own decisions without consulting anyone. So it’s just impossible for a Twink to become a Daddy.

Twinks can’t become Bears for the obvious reason: a Twink is usually smooth(ish). Now a Twink with a little hair on him could possibly graduate into either an Otter, a Cub, a Pup or even a Wolf, but those also require a certain amount of machismo and muscle that Twinks historically just do not possess.

I guess if a Twink holds on to his star power, he can leave the Twaggle to join the A-listers. The A-listers are men in their late 30’s-early 40’s who have managed to keep their looks and land a nice career, house and boyfriend (that they quiety cheat on). However the A-listers are traditionally not seen in bars or clubs; they have house parties where they invite only other A-listers, and attend galas and receptions. Where a Twink would thrive in club or bar, he would be swallowed whole at a gala.

So where do the Twinks go? Having never been one, I guess I am asking this question: What happens to the little Twink once he grows up and leaves the Twaggle?