Sunday, November 20, 2005

Share The Sidewalk, People!

Today's binge complaint is all about sharing the sidewalk.

I have grown weary of sidestepping into dirt, flowerboxes, tree boxes, and even onto the street so that two other people can walk side by side. This is something I have been noticing and complaining about (to anyone who would listen) for the past few years. It baffles me why people cannot share the sidewalk and expect me to move out of their way. They commandeer the sidewalk like its a runway. Usually when passing two men walking together, one will automatically fall behind the other in order to make a two lane pathway. However, women don't seem to understand this concept, in my experience.

I have said initially that it was only gay men who will form single-file lines on public walkways because as gregarious creatures we are used to crowding in small or close-knit quarters in order to socialize. Lately, I have taken to not moving out of my lane. It's mine, dammit. I have THE right to walk on the right side of the sidewalk no matter who or what is approaching me on the left side (it might not be written anyplace, but we all know it's true). Being an ex-football player, I have no problem with banging my shoulder into the person passing me. I've taken out a few people, women included, who just refused to get out of my right-of-way. I have also had to just stop dead in my tracks so that the oncoming pedestrian needs to walk around me. I am sometimes met with an "oh, excuse me" but more often that not I am greeted with a grunt or some other form of oral explusion.

This is not the ark, people! We aren't escaping a flood or anything. If you are walking with someone on a sidewalk and someone approaches from the other direction, move out of the way. You WALK to the SIDE - hence the term sidewalk. Learn it, live it, love it. Or be prepared to get knocked to the ground if you see me approaching.