Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Sister Act

It never seems to end.

First, there was Kylie and Dannii. Then, there was Britney and Jamie Lyn; then Jessica and Ashlee; then Hilary and Hailey. Now you tell me that there are now two Lohans: Lindsay and Ali. Isn't just one of these girls enough? Are any of them so outstanding that the public deserves a sequel in the form of a sister?? (Okay, maybe Kylie) But if Mandy Moore has a little sister out there someplace who is in talks with Nickelodeon or something, I'm taking a chainsaw to my forehead.

Let's recall the divas of yesteryear: Cher's sister didn't follow in her footsteps; neither did Diana Ross's or Mariah Carey's. No one in Madonna's family tried being famous. Meryl Streep sister wasn't doing bit parts in Meryl's movies. Even Marilyn Monroe's sister stayed the hell away. So what is it that makes today's smaller versions think they are just as talented as their siblings?

Answer: Greedy parents. It's the Joe Simpsons, Dina Lohans and Lynne Spearses of this world. They see their younger children and think "ca-ching!" Shame on them. These situations can only end up in two results: 1) Child #1's success so overshadows #2 that #2 doesn't even stand a chance and ends up working the graveyard shift at Dunkin' Donuts, or 2) Child #2 is actually more talented than #1 and a confused public can't deal with that so it alienates both of them. Either way, Child #2 is doomed. And only for the almighty dollar.

In today's tabloid society, the only thing younger siblings are good for is gossip: they end up saying the wrong thing to reporters about their sibling. Or they get arrested. Or they lip synch. In any case, enough is enough. Parents, one of your kids is plenty (and in some cases just one kid is one too many).