Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Pet Peeve #437: Jewelry

Being that I had a speech impediment as a child (no, not a 'lithp') and I couldn't really enunciate well through most of elementary school, I have an extreme fondness and appreciation of the spoken English language. This has only been heightened by the stroke I suffered on election day 2000 (I totally blame "W" for this too) where I was stricken with aphasia and had to go through months of speech therapy all over again. So when I hear a word being mispronounced, it takes everything within me not to correct the speaker.

There are many of these words out there. The one I am referring to today is the word jewelry. Break it down: jew·el·ry. I work with a woman who insists on pronouncing it jew·ler·y. It's all I can do to keep from slapping the teeth out of her mouth. It's a basic 3rd Grade word, for Pete's sake.

She could use the words adornment, anklet, band, bangle, bauble, beads, bijou, bracelet, brass, brooch, cameo, chain, charm, choker, cross, crown, earring, finery, frippery, gem, gewgaw, glass, hardware, ice, jewel, junk, knickknack, lavaliere, locket, necklace, ornament, pendant, pin, regalia, ring, rock, rosary, solitaire, sparkler, stickpin, stone, tiara, tie pin, treasure, or trinket. But she insists on using "jewlery" instead.

If only the windows opened on the 35th floor of my office . . .