Wednesday, March 29, 2006

New York Fatty

Being in NYC always makes me a little nervous. Sooner or later, something will get said to me while I am there that makes me want to assume the fetal position and rock back and forth searching for my happy place. Twice, while visiting NYC, I was I am fat. Yes, told. To my face. And while I don't consider myself fat, nor do I think many other people would either, I accept the fact that perhaps in New York, I AM fat - in comparison to the millions of men who look like they just stepped off of magazine covers.

Example #1

I was dancing at Roxy in a group with three old friends and a few new ones. One of the new ones, let's call him "Newbie", and I were having fun, dancing and cutting up, laughing alot and getting along - not in a "I hope this ends up in the bedroom" kind of fun, but more like a buddy type of thing. All of us were dancing shirtless, which for me was a big deal as it was 2001 and I had only been working out for about a year with more progress yet to be made. At one point during the night, on the dancefloor, Newbie looks over his sunglasses at me and says, "You know what? You're really big." Yeah, I reply, I am a big boy.

"No, I mean there," he spits out, pointing to my mid-section. Well, I am working on it, I say apologetically.

"Because the rest of you is going on: big shoulders, great chest, cute face. But that's gotta go." And then he added the clincher, "I'd fuck you if it wasn't for that." I was dazed. In his way, I think, he meant it as a compliment. At least, that is what I choose to tell myself as I refuse to believe that someone could choose to be that mean to someone else.

Example #2

I attended The Black Party in 2002. I was standing on the side of the dancefloor, just people watching, when I caught the eye of a very muscular black man. He was 6'4", 230 or so with shoulders broader than mine and what looked to be a 30 inch waist. He approached me and we started talking. Eventually we got on the subject of builds and I said something about never being built like him. He came back with, "No that's good, I like chubby men." As my jaw dropped lower, my eyes widened. "I'm whaaaaat???" He moves towards me, as if to grab or hug me or something, and I back away. That might be a compliment in Harlem, but it's not where I come from, I bellow, trying very hard not to cross my arms and stamp my foot for emphasis.

Granted it's been awhile since I've been called fat in NYC (last time I was there in September a certain hottie told me I was "built"), but it stays with me. I almost feel inferior there. Might be why I love Chicago so much. Out here, pretty isn't the 'in' thing. A hearty strong man seems to be the poster child for the midwest. And that criteria I definitely fit.


11 comments:

  1. Oh I soooo love the corn-fed miswestern polish/irish mix that makes up the boys of Chicago. I find them incredibly hot much unlike the intern look of 5'10" 150 pounds DC.

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  2. It's sort of the same way when someone says "You're a cute bear" WHAT? I'm not a Bear?!?

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  3. I can understand your fear, but I wouldn't worry about it. From the pictures of you that I have seen you look great! For those that may have other opinions, oh well, it's their loss.

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  4. Dop, nearly every other guy in NY seems to have an eating disorder to match their attitude. We didn't even bother going out when we were there last Spring. I'll take a Chicago guy over a NY one any day.
    Besides, Scott and I pray to be built more like you daily.

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  5. dop, you're hot! forgot what the mean girls say...hunger has rendered them incoherent.

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  6. meant to say "forget" what the mean girls say! looks like hunger has rendered me incoherent too.

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  7. Even though I didn't write this to have my ego stroked, I totally appreciate the comments, folks!

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  8. New York City.....
    What do you expect...it's the fashion capital of the US. Where would one expect all the pretty and thin people to be? Should be an interesting visit when I am there in another week.

    Matter of fact Dop, I'll be there April 8th...HAPPY BIRTHDAY IN ADVANCE!!!! It's my way of celebrating my birthday which is a week later.

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  9. Dop, I hear ya. On Saturday night, a (former) cast member of the show I'm working on said to me, "Oh, I just love chunky guys." Chunky? Chunky?!? Sorry my skin isn't so thin you can see my heartbeat. Ask me if I was sad when he was fired.

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  10. Excuse me, but if you're fat, or even chubby, then Ann Coulter's a compassionate conservative. Let me reiterate what Jay said: I'd give my right arm for the rest of your body.

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  11. I think that's why gay men and women bond on some level, we are always being judged on the size of our body not our brain. Try being "curvy" and short in LA...thank god I am no where near show business!

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