Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Not All Bears Wear Flannel

In case you've ever been curious (admit it, you have been), I can tell you why larger men only wear tee shirts and flannel - our choices are extremely limited. In DC, the number of nice clothing stores for men in general were sparse: Universal Gear for the twink/gym/club set and Rock Creek for the stylish late 30's-50 year olds (we all know that upon turning 55, all 'MOs journey off to the tarpits to die - it's just the polite thing to do).

So I moved to Chicago and I gotta tell ya, my choices here are not much better: Universal Gear here too, Bad Boys, and HIS STUFF. The latter is in my neighborhood and I stopped by the other day on my walk back from the gym. Personally, I think the name of the store should be changed to KIDS STUFF cause there was nothing in there above a Medium. So frustrating!! (And I probably didn't win any friends from the staff when, after a few minutes of looking around, I asked "where's the MEN'S section??")

Thank God for Club Monaco is all I can say (and I have said it more than once). There were a few stores in DC and I have found the one in Chicago on Michigan Avenue. They have stylish clothing that goes up to size XXL. Without them, all my clothes would come from the Gap or, God forbid, Sears. I've heard women bitch about this for years - how designers and clothesmakers don't cater to large people. And I am not traditionally large, moreover I'm not fat. I just have ridiculous shoulders and a wide back thanks to a little thing called weightlifting. What fits me in the shoulders just bags around my waistline. It's a conundrum.

So I have decided that in about two years, I am going to open a store that caters to big guys with lots of athletic cuts and no sizes below a Large. Not sure of the name yet - maybe something like The Real Man or Polos For Blue Collar (nah, that sounds like a profile on Manhunt or something). Anyway, it will be something that will entice men of all sizes, and then unleash vast disappointment on all those shoppers with smaller builds - just so they will understand how it feels.

7 comments:

  1. Oh I just hate hate hate Universal Queer. The only sizes they ever have are crack whore small and super duper tina crack whore extra small. I once thought I'd buy a great new summer swimsuit there and couldn't even get my calf throught the leg opening. That and being 6'3" they have nothing remotely in my size range.

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  2. I totally get what you're saying. Try dressing a fireplug like me at barely 5'6", a 47" chest, and a 27" inseam. Almost every damn thing I buy has to be altered in some way. I can't even buy most coats and jackets as they might fit my chest and shoulders, but the sleeves are hanging down to my knees. Sweaters are the same drama: might fit the chest, hangs to my knees.
    Does Club Monaco makes clothes for Hobbits who workout?

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  3. I am a woman, but have a wide back which means I don't fir in petites and I don't fit in regular sizes. Petites is made for tiny all over, not just short. I need teapot structure:short and stout.

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  4. All I can say is I hope Scott and Jay aren't dating. The site of a Sasquatch dating a Hobbit would kill me.

    Wonderment - didn't know you were a woman, but I love it. At least I don't have to ask you where your spout is, little teapot.

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  5. Ok so being 6'3" it's hard to find anything to fit me but don't hate on those of us that aren't the hugest guys on the face of the earth... not going to say that it's easy for me to find jeans in 28x34 sizes....just sayin.

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  6. Email me when you open that store, were jus to lazy to do it ourselves..lol... My hubby is 6'2 and has the shoulder span of an Eagle. Its so hard to find him anyting that fits his shoulders. Unless its the xxxl t-shirts from footlocker but those get a little old after awhile.

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  7. Hey I may be tall, but I'm not a hairy beastie!

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