Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Not Enough

As if just being me everyday is not reminder enough that I am not considered "the norm", I am reminded in other various ways, throughout my day, that I am just a bit too greedy, or take a bit too much from the rest of the world in comparison to the average man.

I have previously discussed that I sometimes buy my shirts in XXL, and have to shop in stores where the largest size is a medium. But then I find out that I apparently wash my hands a little too long as evidenced in the restroom at work where I have to depress the faucet at least four times before my hands are washed, rinsed and clean. Likewise with the hand dryer that needs to be engaged at least twice before my hands are remotely dry. The weird thing is - I don't have big hands. I rub them gently together, as the directions indicate, but I must be doing something wrong if I have to go through the steps 2 times instead of the calibrated 1. So not only do I use more water, I seemingly use more air, too. My hands might dry faster if I could just have an old man blow on them through a straw.

And while we are in the restroom, who decided where to perforate toilet paper? No one - NO ONE - uses just one sheet of t.p. What is one sheet used for? You can't even blow your nose with it. Toilet paper should come off the roll in 12" perforations. By the time you roll it, fold it, ball it up, or whatever you do with it, you're using a foot at a time anyway.

And why are ketchup packets so small? I have to open at least six of them at a time. Who rationed a small packet of ketchup to go with an order of fries? Who opens just one ketchup packet??

And one Healthy Choice Meal would never fill me up, let alone satisfy me. I need to eat two in order to feel like I've even eaten anything. I know they are portioned out to make for healthy dining, lower calories, blah blah blah. But c'mon! Who can really exist on that?

So apparently, my entire life exists in XXL, not just my closet. What is considered a normal or average amount of anything is just not enough for me. I need more. Not because I am greedy, but just because normal isn't satisfying. I think the difference is that I don't take or use more than I need. I think that is the definition of greed. I have and use enough. But sometimes, enough is just, well... not.