Monday, August 28, 2006

Gym Etiquette

Here are a few tips to you novice gym-go'ers to help make your workout - and MINE - more pleasant and enjoyable:

1. I know those Harlequinn Romance novels are hard to put down, but please refrain from reading a chapter between sets while you are sitting on a machine, a bench, or otherwise coveting prized gym equipment from others (namely, me). Your rest time between sets should be 30 seconds or so - not 10 minutes.

2. Have some gossip for your girlfriends? Who doesn't, right! But please save it for a phone call before or after your workout, not while you are on the treadmill next to someone (namely, me) who is trying really hard to workout. It's a gym - not a coffee shop.

3. Do you lift heavy weights? I do, too. Some are very heavy. But you won't hear serious lifters (namely, me) yelling our heads off trying to lift them. So I would rather not hear you grunt and moan while trying to curl a 25lb. dumbbell. Here's a tip - if it's that hard to lift, it's too heavy for you.

4. Grandstanding impresses nobody (namely, me). Slapping on two 45lb. plates on each side of a barbell to benchpress, and then raising every part of your body except your shoulders off the bench while you are pressing, only says one thing - you're a moron. Lighter weights, correct form, and more reps will give you better results. And it's the correct way to do it.

5. Gym memberships are outrageous sometimes, aren't they? So use it. There is more to the gym than the lockerroom, sauna, and shower. If you make your way to the weight floor once in a while, you might be surprised at the results. Sweating the weight off in steamrooms only works in cartoons.

6. If you are trying to build muscle, one set of anything yields nothing.

7. Likewise, 8 different chest exercises during one trip to the gym will do you no good. Muscles need to be teased, not overworked. If you overwater a plant, it will die. Muscles are the same way.

And here are a few more items you might want to brush up on before your next trip to the gym so you don't annoy anyone (namely, me). Thank you, and good luck.