Tuesday, August 01, 2006

The Male Barbie

Before you gals get all anorexic trying to look like Barbie - take a gander at what little gay boys have to play with these days. No more nicely built G.I. Joe's, no more beefy teddy bears. These days, gay youth's male ideal is the:

Tom of Finland Doll

Now I ask you, how in the world can we live up to this? This isn't just a tiny waist and big boobs, like Barbie has. We all know how unrealistic her build is. I think I read someplace that based on her proportions, if she were actually a real woman, she would have to be 11 feet tall. Not so with our friend, Tom, here. He has pecs, abs, a full head of hair, and even a treasure trail. And did you see those arms? How about that butt?

The really sad thing is that there are men out there who really do look like this. Well, come to think of it, it's not sad at all - it's more like "Yay for our team!" Whereas no one will ever look like Barbie, many gay boys will grow up to look just like Tom. And possibly kill themselves in the process

It's good to be gay. But we pay a price too.


  1. The doll has an "interchangeable penis." That's very convenient.

  2. yikes-o-rama.... dollars to doughnuts if a guy had those dimensions he wouldn't be able to put his arms down and have a couple ribs removed.

  3. I was gonna say, don't forget what he's packin'. I seem to recall seeing one "in person" and it about reached his knee.

  4. wow he makes the Billy doll look like a Play Mobile figure

  5. All the lyposuction in the world would never get me a waist like that. Does this doll come with some X and roids, too?