I apparently have been cheating those who read my blog out of knowing the real me. There are apparently two sides of me - the "blog me" and the "real me".
A close friend has admitted to me that if he only knew me through my blog - he doubts he would like me very much. After some of my more opinionated entries, he will look at me with a slight squint and a shake of his head and say, "Um, your blog entry today ...." And then we debate about how I fail to see all sides of what I am talking about. These subject matters have mostly centered around things that I take very personally. And I admit that I can be very one-sided at times.
I get this honestly. Both of my parents are very opinionated as well. They aren't judgmental people at all, they just have their opinions and beliefs, many with which I do not agree. My dad seems more opinionated than my mom, I think. Perhaps it comes from his living in a small town all his life? Perhaps it's due to not having his parents for very long (my dad's mother died when he was 16; his father died when Dad was 30)? I say this because my sister and two brothers all live within two miles of my parents, and they all seem to have the same opinions and beliefs. Mine differ slightly. And I don't think it's because I am the gay one, but more due to the fact that I left home, ergo meeting other people who also had left their homes. Leaving home changes your opinion on many things.
The "blog me" is stubborn, sometimes brash, occasionally not very fair. The "real me" is easy-going, sometimes incoherent, occasionally not very serious. The "blog me" is stuffy; the "real me" is goofy. The "blog me" seems loud at times, almost abrasive; the "real me" is shy at times, almost wallpaper.
I am going to make a concerted effort to put more of the "real me" into this blog - not completely, just a little around the edges. 'Cause my friends find the "real me" charming and loveable (thank God!). And I would prefer to be thought of that way, rather than as cold and aloof.
But I still love a good debate.