Thursday, December 07, 2006

Let Nothing You Dismay

I work at an ultra-conservative insurance investment management firm - it reeks of Republican. But I can see the good in what we do, which is to invest money for insurance companies so that they have enough money to pay their insurers should disasters like 9/11 and Hurricane Katrina occur. At least, that is how I rationalize it to myself.

The people with whom I work in my immediate department are pretty cool, though. They know I am gay and most of them have met The BF at some point during the year I have been there. The issue of my sexuality has never been, well, an issue. I seem to get along with everyone because I think there is a blissful ignorance that hovers over my office.

That ignorance has recently been put to a test, however. The reason: the annual office holiday dinner party. Everyone seems to be taking a spouse or a date. But then, everyone else is straight. I kinda dipped my toe into the situation when I told a co-worker that I wasn't sure if I could bring The BF or not. She quickly came back with, "Yeah, that would not go over well." She's been working there for 8 years, longer than anyone. So I am pretty sure she's right. I then addressed it with my immediate supervisor, and she basically agreed with my co-worker.

The BF takes me everyplace, his work holiday parties among them, and I think it's completely unfair that I cannot take him to mine. Well, in essence I can take him, but I just don't want the hassles of it all. Plus, I will not be the one they are looking at all night long, it will be The BF. Of course, The BF has no problem with that and lights up at the possibility of the attention. "Bring it on!" he giggles. No one told me that I can't bring him, but telling me it "would not go over well" is essentially the same thing.

What bothers me more is that this actually bothers me. I shouldn't have to worry about this kind of thing, but I do. I seriously don't care what most of these people think of me, but yet I don't want to rock the boat. I have accepted the fact that there is a time and a place to take a stand. And I think your office Christmas party is neither of those.

So The BF and I will go to HIS company Christmas party and have a blast. And we don't need the stuffiness of my office's function to justify our relationship to a room full of people I mostly don't care about. But still it makes me sad - sad that there are still those out there who are so close-minded and insecure as to not want to see two people who are happy and committed, and even more sad that said people will never get the opportunity to meet The BF, who is truly one of the most remarkable men I know.