Monday, December 31, 2007


The only resolution I've really been able to keep is to not make any more resolutions. I started this a couple of years ago -- not because I intentionally don't keep them, I simply just forget them. When asked in February what my resolution was, I'd had no idea. The only real resolution I've ever kept was to join a gym, and that was back in 2001 when I found myself newly single.

By "newly single" I mean it had not even been 24 hours yet. By sheer coincidence, two of my Exes broke up with me on New Year's Eve: Ex#1 in 1988/89 while we were out with friends at Lost & Found in DC. At 11:50 he looks at me and says, "I can't do this anymore." I thought he meant he couldn't stand the crowd and wanted to go home so I offered to get our coats. He said, "No, this. I can't do this anymore. You and me."

"You're breaking up with me now?? Ten minutes before midnight on New Year's Eve!?"

"Yeah I guess so. Hey this way we can start the year fresh with no baggage." And with that he walked away from me, leaving me in a stupor. And then the countdown came and I stood there alone while the whole world partied around me.

It happened again with Ex#3 in 1999/2000 - probably the biggest New Year's Eve of our lives, when the world ushered in a new millienium. I rented a tux and sat at home waiting for Ex#3 to show up so we could go out together. He never did. We'd had an argument a few days before and he stormed off, projecting his guilt onto me (I'd caught him cheating). But I was willing to overlook it and deal with it later if we could just get through this big night. He never showed up. So I popped the cork on the champagne bottle we had purchased together on our second anniversary, took a large gulp from the bottle and poured the rest out onto the ground. And stood and watched all the fireworks down on the Mall. The next day, I joined a gym.

But I digress. So . . . anyway . . . yeah, I don't make resolutions anymore. But anyway -

Happy New Year!