Toys Make You Gay

Here is a list of the Top 10 toys that made you gay.

(However, if you are over 40 like me, you might not recognize some of these. We'll just have to make due with GI Joe, Slinky and Lincoln Logs.)

Match.Com

A recently aired commercial for match.com requests people to login to the site to chat with its most experienced members. And that confuses me.

Who exactly are the "most experienced members" of match.com? Isn't the very idealistic nature of the website supposed to be for someone to sign on, find someone with the same likes and dislikes, go on a date, and then get married and stay together forever? If that defines success, than how can you be one of THE MOST successful? Are these people who only signed on once and found their ideal person when viewing the first profile? Even if it takes someone several tries to find "the

Match.com has alot of things going for it. For one thing, its not e-harmony. Unlike that site, match.com caters to everyone - straight and gay - and I know a gay couple who met each other on match.com about 4 years ago and are still together. Internet dating has a lot going for it. It used to be almost taboo and people were almost embarrassed to tell anyone they met that way. The internet was mostly for looking up information, viewing porn, and finding sex hookups. While it is still all three of those things for some people, it has grown in validity as an acceptable dating tool as well. And match.com is one of the good sites, which is why it bugs me that they now have this current gimmick to get people to use it.

Really, anyone who finds another person to love is successful, regardless of how they met or how long it took them to get there. I doubt one person is any more successful at it than another. When a couple celebrates their 50th wedding anniversary after meeting on match.com - THAT will be a success story. Otherwise, until then, the "most successful" are just people who have found some form of happiness, however long it lasted.

And besides, like they say, it's okay to look.

How Much Is That Nudie In The Window?

Every gayborhood has one -- at least one if not more. I'm talking about the guy who is a bit of an exhibitionist and keeps his blinds purposely open so the public can see what he's doing. I've seen one in Chicago so far. This guy lives in a basement apartment up next to the sidewalk, so he's very accessible. He never closes is blinds and we've caught him sitting on his couch (which is under the window) on his laptop looking at porn, which is very visible when passing by. It confuses me what he's trying to gain by doing this.

In DC, the local exhibitionist lived in a row house on P Street, NW between 17th and 18th. He'd stand naked in his window and then when you noticed him, he backed into his otherwise darkened room. The first time I saw it, I wasn't sure I had, until a few steps later I turned to my friend and said, "Did you just see that?" When my friend confirmed, we basically agreed the dude was weird.

We also thought - erroneously - that it was a random sighting. But not so. Almost every Sunday night, on our walk from the Dupont Metro to JR's on 17th, we'd see the guy. After about 4 weeks of this, I'd had enough. So after we passed the guy's house and saw him again, I turned around to go back.

"Where are you going?", my friend asked.

"Well he clearly wants people to notice him, so I'm going to let him know I noticed him."

"Don't do that! Dop, come back here!"

"No, I'm gonna get to the bottom of this."

So I walked up the stoop to the front door and banged on it.

"Hello! Hello in there! OK, yes, we see you. You want people to notice you? OK, we noticed. Happy? Now what? Do you invite me in? Did you want to hook up? What are you trying to gain by standing naked in your window, you pervert? There could be children out here. You want to be noticed so badly? Well, here I am sweetheart!"

No answer.

"You're gonna get yourself shot one of these days," my friend said.

"I just wanted to know what I'm supposed to do. He's putting it out there, hoping to elicit some kind of response, so I gave him one."

Perhaps it was mere coincidence, but we never saw him in the window again.

IML 2008

It's that time of year again - time for thousands of leather-loving men to descend upon the Windy City in all their regalia.

For the leather community, it's life at its most dynamic. And for the rest of it, it's pretty much the best people-watching event of the year: the hunks, the freaks, the clones, the frightening, and all those manimal breeds (bears, wolves, otters, bulls, pups, cubs, etc.) and the disgusting smell that sometimes comes with the whole shebang. In any event, it's a hoot. And like the last two years, we'll be going to the expo one day, and then heading to the hotel lobby to gawk at everyone.

More about our LA trip next week, but for now have a safe and fun weekend!

We Loved LA, Part III

On Sunday, to escape the heat between The BF's 12-person brunch at The Sportsmen's Lodge and the 14-person dinner at Marix Tex Mex in Hollywood (both incredible), we decided to take in a movie at The Arclight Cinemas Dome on Sunset Boulevard. At first we had trouble trying to find the entrance to the building from the sidewalk, until The BF realized that since this was LA and nobody walks anywhere, the entrance must be closer to the garage. And, badda bing, there it was.

The movie - Iron Man. Had we been in Chicago, I probably would not have gone to see this movie. I'm not one for war movies with planes and missles and all the super hero stuff. But you go Robert Downey Jr. What a comeback. To have such a public downfall, he's made the smartest choice of his career by playing a man who is as flawed as Downey admitted to being in his own life at one point. And by the end of the movie, the character has had no real epiphany or given up all of his vices, but he does come to understand the difference between right and wrong - a lesson we all learn as we get older, just like Downey himself has seemed to. The movie was exciting. And Gwyneth Paltrow didn't even get on my nerves once!

The kicker of the afternoon was that we had one more celebrity sighting in the theatre lobby after the movie: none other than RuPaul sans drag. He's tall, freckled, bald and it looks like he's had something done, and by something I mean ribs removed. Even in a polo shirt, it was obvious that he sinks way in around the waistline.

Still, he counts as a celebrity if not the gayest one possible.

More to come . . .

We Loved LA, Part II

Last Saturday was a record hot day in Los Angeles. It ended up being 104 degrees! How did we beat the heat? Our friend Stephanie came through for us in a big way. Well-connected, Steph garnered invitations for 5 of us attend the opening of the new Simpsons' Ride at Universal Studios-Hollywood. We entered the park through a side entrance and after being given our VIP passes, were escorted to a roped off area outside the ride entrance. There were free Krusty Burgers and sandwiches and salads and drinks . . . and celebrities! Here is out celebrity sighting list:

Larry Birkhead and baby Dannielynn

Holly Robinson Peete

Corbin Bernsen

Kelsey Grammer

Melina Kanakaredes

Deidre Hall

Billy Bush

Fred Willard

Matt Groening

James L. Brooks

Antonio Villaraigosa (the mayor of LA)

The event started off with a man being shot out of a cannon. Matt caught the action on his iPhone - and it's pretty impressive quality for a camera phone.

After a few words of welcome, we were among the first to board the new ride. It's a fast, rockety ride that makes you feel like you're in a cartoon. After that we took the backstage tour and rode some rides, and then, of course, I had my photo taken with Shrek.

More to come . . .

We Loved LA, Part I

The BF and I returned from a 5-day trip to Los Angeles to visit friends, sightsee, and celebrate The BF's 30th birthday this past Sunday. The entire weekend was a magical blast. Much kudos to Matt, Stephanie, Catherine, and the rest of the gang for making it so memorable.

We arrived Wednesday night and quickly started the weekend by going to Disneyland on Thursday. The weather was warm and sunny, and because we went on a Thursday in late May, the crowd was practically non-existent. Our longest wait in any line was no more than 30 minutes. In some cases there was actually no wait at all. And to those who say you can't possibly "do Disneyland" in a day, I say balderdash. Here's the list of rides we did in one day:

Big Thunder Mountain Railroad
Indiana Jones Adventure
Peter Pan's Flight
Buzz Lightyear Astro Blasters
Innoventions
Star Tours
Tower of Terror
California Screamin'
Soarin' Over California
Pirates of the Carribbean
Splash Mountain
Space Mountain

That last one was the the one that finally put me over the edge. The word I used to describe the feeling was "jostled", and I think it was an excellent word for the moment.

So many fun memories were made that day, but the one topping the list was when Catherine - soaking wet from Splash Mountain - absentmindedly grabbed her wrap dress from the back to ring out the water, and mooned everyone standing in line waiting to ride: attendants, children, parents, school kids, teenagers, grandparents. Matt joked that at least 30 boys hit puberty at that very moment.

More to come...

Off To LA

We are off to L.A. to spend the next several days with Matt, Stephanie, Heather, Nikki, Cat, Joby, Mickey Mouse and The Simpsons - among others - to celebrate The BF's 30th Birthday on Sunday.

Be back on Tuesday.

Mother's Day

Like a good son, I sent my mom a Mothers' Day card early enough last week that she received it before Sunday. I love and respect my mom more than any other person that's ever lived. She's loved me during times that were good or bad; during times when I acheived great things; during times when she didn't understand what I was doing; during times when I was weak; during times when I was at my strongest; during times when it might have even been hard for her to love me; during times when I turned out to be someone she didn't expect.

There's no greater devotion in the world than that between a mother and a child. Even at my age, I still need her - mostly as a sounding board than anything else. She doesn't see my day-to-day life like she does with my sister and brothers. And as a byproduct, she probably worries a little bit more about me. Although she has not yet met The BF (due to geography), she knows I am in a happy, committed relationship, and she feels peaceful about that.

She's lived a quiet and somewhat sheltered life - being exposed to the world through the eyes and opinions of her children. She's never traveled extensively and 99% of her life has been lived within a 6-mile radius. But in contrast, she is as open-minded as they come. When I came out to my mom 11 years ago (yeah, late), her response was "so tell me something I don't already know". When I asked her how she knew, she gave me the very motherly response of "I know everything". And I believe her.

I'd certainly never want to test her. Happy Mothers' Day, Mom!

Weekend

My weekend is shaping up to be very relaxing. It is the first weekend in many weeks where I have absolutley nothing planned, nor do I have to be anywhere at a specific time. Not that the last several weekends haven't been fun, but it's nice every now and then to sleep-in (for me that's getting out of bed around 8:30am), lay on the couch and catch up on the Netflix movies that have been gathering dust.

Last weekend was fun though. The BF and I went to CircEsteem, a non-profit on the northside whose mission is to mission is to unite youth from diverse racial, cultural, and economic backgrounds and help them build self-esteem and mutual respect through the practice of circus arts. The talent varied from small kids simply jumping through hoops to a world class teenager from the southside who escaped the life of gangbangers by finding success and a future in circus arts. Very inspiring story.

After the show, we trotted over to Crew and had lunch and drinks with friends Chris and Justin. This is something I truly need to do more of. I forget how much I enjoy just hanging out and throwing back a beer or two now and then. My life seems so hectically scheduled that I rarely allow myself the time to simply chill out with friends. It was fun, and needs repeating.

On the positive side, The BF and I have been living together now for almost two weeks which, for me anyway, have just flown by. We are taking a little vacation together next week, and I'm very much looking forward to that.

Sitting-In For Not Standing Up

Women need to stop complaining about men not giving up their seats for them on public transportation, namely trains and buses.

First of all, it's not a rule. The rule states that able-bodied adults are to give up their seats for the handicapped, the elderly, and expectant mothers. And for the most part, I do see men do just that. However, it is rare when I see a woman give up her seat for a senior citizen. I ride the Trixie Trolley (#156 LaSalle) everyday, and always sit in the back of the bus in the elevated section. There have been puh-lenty of times I have given up my seat in the back of the bus to a senior citizen who has had to make his/her way through the crowd, past all the seated young women in order to get to my location. Not standing for a woman is showing equality; not standing for an elderly person is just shameful and disrespectful.

And since I mentioned it, I guess I don't understand the concept of a woman - especially a young woman - demanding a man give up his seat or hold a door open for her. I don't argue that it is a polite gesture that men need to be taught while still young in order for it to be ingrained into who they are as adults. But I don't think these gestures should be expected or even demanded. I'm happy to give up my seat to a woman who I am certain is in the latter stages of her pregnancy (key words there are "I am certain"; at times, it is difficult to tell). But I'm not about to stand up for a 26-year old woman just so she can sit down to read.

I've heard all the arguments before, the biggest being shoes. Here's a tip: here's what I do when wearing a pair of shoes all day that hurt my feet. I throw them away. Or, I don't wear them. I'm sorry women feel the pressure of society to wear body altering clothing, but it is ultimately a choice they've made. Just as there is no law that says I have to show a woman any courtesy, there is no law that says she has to dress the way she does.

I am 42 years-old. By all accounts, I look perfectly healthy. But no stranger on a bus or train has any idea what my health problems are, just like I have no idea about anyone else. Unless your health situation is obvious (which even mine are not), I'm not going out of my way to make you more comfortable when I have no relationship to you - or worse, just because you are a woman. I would think you would find that more insulting than flattering. And if you don't, you should.

Jai Rodriguez

It's official: Jai Rodriguez has the worst post-Queer Eye career of the group. I mean, have you seen Groomer Has It on Animal Planet yet? It's awful! Even Jai acts like he hates being there. He turns on the cheese while on camera, but I get the feeling that when the director yells "cut!", Jai is storming to his dressing room feverishly trying to get his agent to return his phone calls.

First, a part on Queer Eye no one really understood, then "The Jury", and now this? If every dog has his day, this one is clearly not Jai's.

Suing Southwest

In light of the recent FAA's failed compliance, I will be adding Southwest Airlines to my long list of litigious endeavors.

Since I've flown on Southwest about 10 times in the past two years, I've decided to sue them for attempted murder since they repeatedly, and beyond normal circumstances, took my life in their hands by flying me on planes that were knowingly not passing inspection.

How much you think I could get?