Tuesday, October 14, 2014

My Precious!

Just over a week into married life and I can tell you that it does actually feel different - at least to me.  Nothing about our relationship has changed at all, but it almost feels as though the world takes me more seriously.  I equate the feeling to the difference between how adults treat you when you are a teen vs. how they treat you once you are an adult.  Of course, this all might just be in my head.  Actually, it most likely is.  But I find myself flashing my left hand more than I used to: holding the railing on the bus with my left hand, reaching for purchases with my left hand.  All just so I can show the ring and silently say, "look at me, I'm maaaaarried!"

I'm not typically a jewelry-wearer (neither is Kevin).  The last ring I wore was my high school class which I stopped wearing in 1985.  I don't even wear a watch.  Last time I wore any kind of adornment was back in 2005  and we all know how THAT turned out.  But I think I have adjusted to the new ring quite well.  I am in a weird stage where, at the same time, I both forget I'm wearing it yet am keenly aware that I have it on.  I both forget about it yet am hyper-sensitive to it.  The ring! The ring!  "MY PRECIOUS!"

So far, the only thing I don't like doing is washing my hands while wearing my ring because the ring scrapes the soap.  Plus, the soap makes the ring very easy to slide off.  I met a woman at a wedding (not ours) last weekend who admits she always puts her ring in her mouth when she washes her hands.  This is both sweet and disgusting at the same time.  I wince at taking the ring off in public because I fear dropping it or losing it.  Of course, it's easily replaceable, but at least for THIS ring, there is some sentimental attachment to it that subsequent rings won't have (and let's be real here, there will be subsequent rings 'cause I just know I am going to lose this one at some point down the road).  I guess I'll need to find a work-around and am open to suggestions.

It's all so new and wonderful.  I had never really spent time imagining what my wedding would look or feel like.  But standing in the middle of the reception and looking around that night, I thought to myself, "This.  This is exactly what I would have wanted it be."

Friday, October 03, 2014

I'm Getting Married Tomorrow

So here I am on the eve of my wedding, both at a time and place I never thought I'd be.  Never, because I never thought it would be something I was legally able to do, for one.  Never, because I never thought I'd agree to allow myself to be the center of attention for an entire night.  And mostly never, because I never thought I would ever meet a person I can't imagine living without.  But here we are, 9 years after we met about to stand in front of our closest friends and family and vow to do what we had already silently decided to do years ago.

I met Kevin about two months after I started this blog.  I was recently single and with a lot of time on my hands.  And blogs were what people were doing back then.  I didn't realize until recently, that this blog has essentially been the chronicle of my life with Kevin.  Over the years, he's popped up now and then in posts, sometimes as an innocent bystander and sometimes as the subject himself.  I've posted about originally meeting him, and when he officially became "The BF", and our first New Year's Eve together.  I even posted about the moment I realized who he really was for me and how it all happened.

And through it all, both on the blog and in real life, Kevin's ever-patient demeanor has been the compliment to my ever-present outrage.  We've never had a serious argument.  Never stopped speaking to each other.  Never went to bed mad or upset with the other.  Our relationship has been based on and infused with laughter, understanding, respect, compromise, and support.  It actually took us living in Miami for me to realize how much we rely on each other and how difficult it would be for us to live apart from each other, at least for an indefinite period of time.  There are times when I just need to see his face or hear his voice or even touch his hand in order to feel reassured that life is okay.  He makes everything better without even trying.

And tomorrow, I get to marry him and celebrate it with the people I love.  My life is so good!.