Sunday, September 20, 2015

Dreaming Of Granny

Lately, oddly, my grandmother, "Granny" as I lovingly named her, has been on my mind, or should I say in my dreams.  For the past three nights I've had as many dreams about her.  This seems strange to me because the anniversary of her death was 3 months ago and her birthday isn't until December.  So it's not like she's on my mind right now.  But for some reason she is appearing to me in my dreams.  I love it because I love her, but it makes me wonder.

I tend to remember my dreams quite vividly, so let me share them with you:
In Dream #1, Granny was mostly just a bit player.  It was a disturbing dream in which Kevin and I got divorced.  It was originally my idea and he balked at the suggestion.  But some time passed and when I went back to him to tell him I had changed my mind, he said he'd had time to think about it and it was actually a good idea.  So I moved home and was greeted there by Granny.  She was wearing a plain, navy blouse, a navy blazer, and a long dark purple skirt - none of which I had ever seen her wear in life.  She gracefully descended a grand staircase and gave me a warm hug.
 In Dream #2, Granny played a much more prominent role.  I had decided to take her to see a movie.  I picked her up at her house and she was wearing a long, plain black dress with thin shoulder straps with a black lace shawl and a red rose in her white hair.  When we got to the theater, she asked for headphones to hear the movie, but then started talking to my mother on them which I knew was a sign of dementia of some kind.  When the movie started, she complained that she couldn't see, so I switched seats with her.  She then got up and opened a door in the theater that led to a mechanical closet.  I approached her and she said she was looking for the bathroom, so I walked her out to the hallway, which then turned into my old high school.  She started wandering off by herself and I got pulled away from her and couldn't get to her.  I watched her walk away and disappear around a corner.
In Dream #3, there was no color.  The dream seemed to be in sepia tone this time.  I was in her house with some friends.  One of them started speaking in German, and Granny, who's mother came to America from Germany when she was 3, started speaking in German as well.  Tears of happiness welled up in Granny's eyes as she spoke to my friend.  She then gave him a hug and I was filled with joy that she was happy.
These dreams have occurred the last three nights.  I'm lost as to their meaning, but I love that she is so present in my life, still to this day.  She was perhaps the first great loss of my life and her death rocked me for a long time.  If anyone out there understands dreams or is able to interpret these for me, please let me know.  Until then, I'll be seeing Granny in my dreams.