Thursday, November 19, 2015

Introducing My Husband

As the year passed, it's gotten a little easier.  But I'm still not completely comfortable - or should I say "at ease" - with introducing Kevin as my husband.  Referring to Kevin as my boyfriend or partner was always very easy to do.  But I am, at times, almost sheepish when I call him my husband.

I don't balk at hearing "husband" from other male couples, or even when I hear Kevin introduce me.  While I am certainly proud that he married me, I'm always afraid that it sounds like I am trying to make some kind of political statement.  It's not out of embarrassment of any kind; I just don't want to be seen as pushing an agenda, despite the fact that same-sex marriage is legal everywhere in the United States.  It's just my life.

Prior to the 1990's, partnered men referred to themselves as "lovers".  I count my lucky stars that my dating period launched near the end of that terminology.  I never had a lover.  The first guy I dated seriously was my "boyfriend", as were subsequent guys after that.  Kevin was the first guy to become my "partner".  I can't remember when he and I adopted that word to define each other, but the transition from boyfriend to partner was seamless, effortless.  Even on Facebook, we transitioned from "in a relationship" to "in a domestic partnership" to finally just plain old "married".

Of course the only way for everyone to get used to hearing two men call each other husband (or two women use the word wife) is to simply just use the word.  The more often it is said, the more comfortable everyone will be with hearing it and, as in my case, saying it.  Because after all, that's who he is.

Thank God.

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