Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Going After Old Friends

On a recent trip to NYC, I managed to get a drive-by hug from my dear college friend, Kathy, who was understudy swing for the Broadway production of A Gentleman's Guide to Love and Murder.  It was beyond lovely to see her and talk with her again after several years.  Despite chatting now and then on Facebook, I did the math and realized to my horror that I had not actually seen Kathy in about 18 years.

Eighteen years!

Before NYC, the last time I saw Kathy was back in 1998 when I was visiting Chicago from DC and she was performing in the Chicago production of "She Loves Me" or "Crazy For You" or something like that.  No doubt she was fabulous in whatever it was.

    1994                                                    1998                                                2016
It felt sooo good to see her and reconnect with her that I made a new year's resolution that during 2016 I will try to reconnect in person with as many of my old college friends as possible.  It's totally doable, provided of course that they want to see me too.  Fingers crossed.

I'll admit here that I am not the best person in the world when it comes to staying in touch with people.  I think I used to be once because there are entries in my old calendars regarding letters and cards I'd sent to people.  But over time, cherished friendships faded away, in part because I did not hold up my part of the bargain.  I've placed blame on geography and schedule, but the truth is I just didn't work hard enough.  I'm not saying it's completely my fault that my old friendships have faded away, but I will take my share of responsibility.

Some of it possibly stems from my introvert tendencies, while still the ugly feelings of insecurity creep into play.  Being somewhat of a stable force in my 20s and 30s, I had attracted mostly artistic, creative, genius dreamers as my friends, all of whom had gone on to fulfill their passions and have amazing lives and careers while I had remained somewhat constant and, by comparison, boring and predictable.  I would have nothing to contribute to conversations when asked, "what's new?" or "what have you been up to?"  As mentioned before in this blog, it was one of the reasons I wanted to leave DC back in 2005.  When asked, "what are your hobbies?", I simply had no response.

All this changed, of course, once I met Kevin.  Because not only is he the most interesting person I know, he takes me along on his adventures, either physically or spiritually.  And I would love for my old friends to meet him, just as I want to meet the people with whom they are now sharing their lives as well.

So, look out gang - I'm coming (back) for you.  My goal is to add an updated photo next to the last one we had taken.  I hope we get to spend some time together, reconnecting and reminiscing.  You were the most important people in my life for 4+ years, and I want you back.