Friday, August 25, 2017

The Troutman Family Bible

Tomorrow, Saturday, August 26th, will mark my parents' 56th wedding anniversary.  They were just about one month shy of actually making it to this date together. Tomorrow, Mom will experience this day without Dad for the first time.  When I wrote THIS blog post last year, little did I know it would be the last one they would celebrate together.  It could be a tough day for Mom - the first celebratory event without him around.  All too soon, Thanksgiving will be here, then Christmas - two days I'm sure she is not looking forward to getting through.  But get through it, she will.  As have all of her sisters before her.  But the first event, especially a wedding anniversary, is a tough blow.

Unless it was a very private thing between them, I don't recall my parents making too much of a big deal about their anniversary.  Perhaps you don't when you have so many of them, one following another year after year.  That's not really who my parents are.  They didn't fuss over themselves, opting instead to fuss over others.  That fact didn't stop me from being the dutiful son, however.  I still sent cards and well wishes, even gift cards to restaurants so they actually would go out to dinner and celebrate.

August 6, 1981
20th Anniversary
I remember the first real gift we gave Mom and Dad for their anniversary.  It was in 1981, their 20th.  My sister, Kim, and I pulled and saved our money to buy them a family bible that we had seen in Matthew's Hallmark in LaVale Plaza shopping center (Kim was 18; I was 15).  I don't know if our parents wanted a family bible or if they had ever considered owning one before.  But for some reason, Kim and I had it in our heads that a bible would be the absolute best gift.  We could choose between a white leather or black leather cover.  We chose black, and had "The Troutman Family" engraved in gold on the front cover.  It was, quite literally, the best gift anyone could have ever given their parents.  Ever.

Since then, the bible has set in Mom's living room (my parents had separate living rooms, but that's another story). She's kept it updated over the years; inside are places to write family historical information.  So on Saturday, the Troutman Family Bible will be 36 years old.

I suppose, being the eldest Troutman son, that someday the bible will come to me, after which I will pass it down to the next Troutman generation and so on.  At least, that was the original idea 36 years ago.  Mom might "Prince Charles" me and pass me over, giving it to one of her grandsons instead.  And that's her prerogative. I had a hand in starting the tradition so, in fact, I've already taken my turn with it.

So, then, tomorrow.  I guess I can no longer wish them a "happy" anniversary, because from here on out the day probably won't be.  But I'll call Mom on that day and we'll talk.  We might not even mention that it's their anniversary.  Or that might be all we talk about.  Either way, she'll know why I'm calling.

The important thing is to talk to both of them on that day - as I always have done and will continue to do.  It's just that from now on, they will be separate conversations.