My Eating Disorder

I will admit it here:  I have an eating disorder.

Unless a food comes with a specific set of instructions, or it's painfully obvious how to consume it (like, um, soup), I do not possess the innate ability to know how to eat it.  I'm not worldly that way.  Now, I'm not talking about recipes and how to cook something; I'm talking about the proper way to eat some foods.  Examples:

Shrimp
I never knew I was supposed to remove the shell from a shrimp before eating it.  I hadn't eaten much shrimp as a kid/teen and had only watched other people eat it.  I knew something got pulled off first - which I assumed (correctly) was the legs - but I completely missed the part about removing the shell.  Are there instructions about that?  No.  So for several years, I pulled off the legs and ate the rest.  I learned of my mistake one Christmas when I was eating shrimp with my brother.  I was about 35 at the time.  I innocently asked him what he was doing:

Matt:  Pulling the legs off?
Me:  No, after that.
Matt:  Peeling off the shell?
Me:  Are you supposed to do that?
Matt:  !?!?
Me:  I didn't know you were supposed to do that.  I always just ate the shell.
Matt:  You're lying.
Me:  No, watch.  (pop shrimp in mouth)
Matt:  I'm gonna barf.

Edamame
I knew Kevin wanted me to eat a little healthier and I knew he loved Asian food, so one time early in our relationship, I stopped by a Chinese restaurant on my way home from work and ordered edamame to go.  On the walk home, I thought I would start eating, so I just popped a pod into my mouth and started chewing.  Let me ask again here:  Where are the written instructions on how to eat edamame?  Answer:  Nowhere!  After 15 minutes of chewing, I finally had to pull the stringy pod out of my mouth and toss it.

"How does Kevin eat these things?", I marveled.  And looking at the container in front of me, I wondered how on earth I would be able to finish all of them when it took me 15 minutes to just eat ONE.

Kevin (laughing):  Oh my God, you don't eat the pod!  You eat the soy beans inside!
Me:  Well that would explain why the pod is practically unchewable.
Kevin:  (laughing too hard to speak)
Me:  Well how was I supposed to know??

Calamari 
While perhaps not really the same eating disorder as shrimp and edamame, I ordered calamari on a vacation in Cancun in 1998.  Based on the sound of the word, I thought calamari was pasta.  I mean come on:  capellini, fusilli, spaghetti, CAL-A-MAR-I...   I mean, it ends in an "i" - sounds like pasta to me.  Admittedly it looked a little weird when it arrived at the table because it didn't look like it had marinara sauce on it, but I started eating it anyway.  The look on my face immediately gave me away.  I'm trying to chew the mouthful I had:

Me:  God this is just awful!
Chad:  I was surprised you ordered it in the first place.  I didn't think you would like squid.
Me:  (spit!)

If there are other foods out there that need to be accompanied with instructions or directions, please let me know.  Or should I simply just check myself into rehab?

It's Been A Great Week!!

The past several days have been surreal.

The blogs I recently posted about Dad's Alzheimer's and the conversation I had with Carol Burnett (still floating on air here) seem to have struck a chord with thousands of people across the U.S. who either have dealt with or are dealing with a family member suffering with Alzheimer's, or who love and respect Ms. Burnett as much as I.  Or in many instances, people experiencing both.  I've received emails, tweets, Facebook messages, and Google+ comments.  And to be perfectly honest, I have no idea how to follow it all up.

When Rosie O'Donnell tweeted my blog out to her 700,000+ followers, it was hard not to think, "what's going to happen next?"  I've been writing this blog off and on since 2005, and am just a few posts shy of 600 total postings.  That's a lot of personal opinions I have shoved out into the world.  Or as I have always told Kevin, "I'm just pointing things out."

It would be amazing if the (at this posting) 60,000+ people who took the time to stop by my blog this week would continue to do so in the weeks and months to come.  But realistically I know that will not happen.  Still, I continue to write because one summer many years ago, Dan Sullivan told me that "there will never be enough written material for the number of people who can read it". 

I want to say thank you to everyone who shared their stories with me, as well as those who have wished love and luck to me and my family.  And to those who have shed a tear or two upon reading what I've written, I hope the tears helped in your healing process.

And now as the hubbub begins to wane and my 15-minutes of fame clicks to 14:59, I can reflect on an incredible week - one where I "brightened a lot of days" as one tweet put it.  Because it was never my intention to make anyone sad; this has been so joyous for me and my family and friends.  I got to speak to my childhood hero, and people all around the country stopped to remember the people they love.

So thank you all for a great week.  And Happy Valentine's Day!

My awesome Dad wearing the pipe cleaner bifocals I made for him. 
November 2013

Isaac Winebrenner, Sr.

As I've mentioned before, I've been researching both sides of my family trees for many years.  

Today, I'd like you to meet Mr. Isaac Winebrenner, Sr.  Isaac was my father's mother's Great-Great-Grandfather.  Interestingly enough, yet not all that surprising, Isaac is also my father's father's Great-Great-Grandfather.  Two of Isaac's sons, Isaac Jr. and James Hiram, sired Dad's father's line and Dad's mother's line, respectively, which then came back together when Dad's parents married.  While certainly not at all uncommon in small rural areas, it still seems a little weird and perhaps a touch creepy.

Isaac Sr. was born in 1804 and died April 3, 1895.  He was a farmer and, together with his wife Nancy, had 10 children - all of whom survived into adulthood, which was also uncommon for the time.

Below is his rather colorful obituary:

Yesterday, Carol Burnett Called Me

In follow up to this blog I posted a few  weeks ago, I want to update you on what transpired this weekend.  Kevin and I were watching the Olympics and my phone rang around 2:30 p.m.  The caller was listed as "Unknown" with no number showing, so I just dismissed the call.  The caller called again about an hour later, and again I dismissed the call.

About an hour or so after that, I walked down to get the mail and stop in 7-Eleven for a Diet Pepsi, when my phone rang.  And, again, it was the unknown caller.  I decided to answer it this time so that the caller would just stop calling:

Me:  Hello?
Caller:  May I speak to Dop Troutman?
Me:  This is he.
Caller:  Dop, this is Carol Burnett.

Heartbeat....heartbeat....heartbeat....

Me:  Oh my gosh!
Carol:  Dop I just had to call you because I got your letter and it meant so much to me and touched me so deeply that I wanted to call and let you know.

We talked for a few minutes and I admitted to her that I was having a surreal moment, standing in 7-Eleven and talking to this woman I've loved all my life.  She laughed that familiar, wonderful laugh.

Me:  I know you've tried a few times to reach me today but your ID is coming up as unknown on my phone and I typically don't answer those.
Carol:  Well I didn't want to leave a message in case I had the wrong number, so I figured I would just keep calling until someone answered.

 And after several more minutes, we said our good-byes:

Carol:  Please give my love to your family and to your Mom and Dad.
Me:  I will.  I cannot tell you what this means to me.
Carol:  Well I am just so touched.
Me:  Thank you so much for calling.
Carol:  Thank you, darling.  Bye bye.

And then I fainted.

I called my mother immediately following the conversation and asked her to tell Dad and to let me know if he had any reaction to the news.  And what's really wonderful and beautiful and sad about all this, is that this is an experience my dad gave to me . . . and he may never realize or understand what he did.  What father doesn't want his children to meet their heroes?  There would never have been an occasion in my life where I would have spoken with Ms. Burnett, either on the phone or even in person.  And certainly not to the length where she would go out of her way to keep trying to reach me until she got me.  My dad made that possible for me.

I couldn't possibly love and respect my parents more than I do today.  And as they continue on this journey together, I pray that my dad continues to have these times of normalcy, no matter how brief they are.  For us, they are epiphanies, but for Dad, they are memories.  The precious few he is able to cling to because - at some point - they made his children happy.

Now click here for another update.

Getting My PHR

Recently I obtained my PHR certification (Professional in Human Resources).  It's sorta like getting your real estate license for human resources.  It proves that you have the body of knowledge to be both a support to staff and a strategic partner to leadership, and that you know the laws that govern what a business can and cannot do. 

There are six disciplines in HR that need to be known:

1. Business Management and Strategy
2. Workforce Planning and Employment
3. Human Resource Development
4. Compensation and Benefits
5. Employee and Labor Relations
6. Risk Management

The trick is that you are tested on all of these subjects in one exam.  It's not like you study for Risk Management, take an exam, then study for HR Development, take an exam...   It's just one long 4-hour final on all the topics at once.  It has a 50% pass rate, which means as many people fail as pass.

It was, perhaps, the hardest exam I've ever taken.  And studying was really challenging for me; I haven't studied for an exam in over 20 years.  And I found that my retention is not as good at 47 as it was at 27, and neither is my attention span.  I was diagnosed a few years ago with ADHD.  So for this, I basically had to not necessarily learn the information as much as I just needed to become familiar with it or at least recognize series of words.  I studied - no joke - for 3 months. 

Ultimately, it was all worth the agony.  It was either this or grad school and I didn't want to spend the money or the time, or even try to convince myself that I would be a good student again.  It took me a while to really figure out what I wanted to do with my career and this was worth the investment for me.  Now I can command a higher salary because of the credential. 

And I get to put a few letters after my name now.  So that's cool, too.

World Cancer Day

Since today is World Cancer Day, I thought I would post something personal about cancer in my own life.  Just within this past year alone, I fought two battles with skin cancer - both located on my head.

The first one showed up about a year ago as small bumps on top of my head.  At first I thought it was just dry skin from the winter air. I went to see my amazing dermatologist in Chicago and he very quickly diagnosed me as having Actinic Keratosis ("AK").  AK is found on the skin that has often been exposed to the sun for long periods of time.  Untreated AKs can advance to squamous cell carcinoma ("SCC"), the second most common form of skin cancer, and some experts believe they are actually the earliest stage of SCC.

Day 14

"Dr. Amazing" gave me a prescription for Fluorouracil, a topical ointment that I was to apply to my head twice a day for 2 weeks.  He warned me to use this medication during a time when I was not planning on being particularly social.  Look up images online and you will see why (fortunately mine never got that bad.)  The medication essentially burns the AK off the skin.  We discovered that my skin was slow to react to the medication, so I increased the application time by another week.  By Day 21, my skin was raw, sensitive, and ugly.  I wondered how it could ever heal from this procedure.  But it only took 1 week for my skin to restore to normal, with all traces of the AK and bumps gone. 

6 days after surgery

My second bout came after living in Miami for about 4 months.   I noticed what looked like a pimple on the right bridge of my nose, probably from wearing my reading glasses so often or not washing my face well enough.  So this time I went to a dermatologist in Miami who diagnosed it as basal-cell carcinoma ("BCC").  Unfortunately, a topical cream wouldn't help.  I needed to have surgery to have it removed.  The surgery required 6 stitches.  I also had a reaction to the sutures and had to have them removed about 2 weeks after the surgery.  I was fine with the scar on my nose, but because the skin was pulled, the right side of my nose ended up being higher than the left for about 2 months. 

It would be easy to blame Miami or Southern Florida sun on my problems, but the truth is these both started while I was living in Chicago.  Still, the warning is the same:  sunscreen, sunscreen, sunscreen.  Most skin cancers can be avoidable, but they can also be undetectable.  I thought I just had a pimple on my nose and it ended up being cancer.  You can never be too sure.  I have my face and head checked annually.  And on World Cancer Day, I say that it is a good idea for everyone.

FACT: Lincoln Has No Contemporary Descendants

If you ever come across a person who's last name is Lincoln, and they try to pass themselves off as a direct descendant of the 16th President, you can confidently school them in the fact that there is no such thing.  Yes, there are cousins many times removed, but none in The President's direct lineage.

Abraham Lincoln’s great-great-great grandfather came to Massachusetts from England in 1637 and went into farming initially, but became a businessman and active member of the church. Over the generations his ancestors moved south, eventually settling themselves in Kentucky. The President's grandfather, for whom Abraham was named, was a captain during the American Revolution but ironically was killed by a Native American while farming with his sons.

President Lincoln’s life was filled with death. His little brother, Thomas Jr., died days after Thomas’s birth in 1812. Lincoln’s mother died in 1818, when Abraham was just nine years old. Then, in 1828, his sister Sarah died in childbirth, along with her stillborn baby. Lincoln also mourned the woman he had intended to marry, Ann Rutledge, when she died in 1835.

After Lincoln’s marriage to Mary Todd (#2 in the image at right) in 1842, the couple settled down to start their own family. They would have four sons.

The first, Robert (#3), was born in 1843 and would live a long and prestigious life. The second son, Edward, was born in 1846 and died in 1850 of what is believed to be tuberculosis. Another son, William (a favorite of Mary and Abraham Lincoln and nicknamed “Willie”), was born less than a year after Edward’s death and died at age 11 while the Lincolns resided in the White House. Willie’s death was a harsh blow to the family. His body would eventually be exhumed and accompany his father’s to be buried in Springfield, Illinois. The Lincolns’ youngest son, Thomas (also known as “Tad”), was born in 1853. Tad would outlive his father by only six years. He died at the age of 18.

The Lincolns’ only son to marry and have children was Robert. Robert married Mary ("Mamie") Harlan (#4) in 1868 and had three children: Mary (#5), Abraham (#6) and Jessie (#7).  Abraham died of blood poisoning at the age of 16.  Robert’s two daughters each lived well into the 1900s:  Mary Lincoln Isham, had one son, Lincoln Isham (#8), who ultimately did not have children, and Jessie Lincoln Beckwith, had two children: a daughter, Mary (#9) who never wed, and a son, Robert (#10).  Mary Beckwith died in 1975.  

Robert Todd Lincoln Beckwith (Robert Lincoln's grandson) married three times but had no children. During the time Robert divorced his second wife, she became pregnant and claimed the child to be his. Due to Robert having had a vasectomy prior to this marriage, he protested the paternity of the child, and the courts ordered a blood test be performed. When the mother failed to comply, the court ruled that the child was not Robert Lincoln’s. In 1985, Robert Todd Lincoln Beckwith, the great grandson of President Abraham Lincoln, died with no heir to carry on the family name. With his death, an American family that had lived and worked in this country for more than nine generations came to an end.

Budweiser Going To The Dogs

This is an image taken from Budweiser's planned "Puppy Love" Super Bowl ad to air on Sunday, February, 2nd.

Research is showing that the gender gap of Super Bowl watchers has been narrowing over the years.  In 2012, of the 111 million American viewers of Super Bowl XLVI, 54 percent were male compared to 46 percent female.

So, it makes me wonder who Budweiser is trying to target.  Are rough and ornery football fans easily charmed by a puppy?  Or is this to tug at the heartstrings of the growing number of female watchers?  Or it is perhaps for the kids in the house who are watching the game with their guardian(s)?  I think it's very interesting to put such a sweet, charming ad during one of the roughest sporting matches of the year.

Personally, I love it.  Watch the video below:

Open Letter to Carol Burnett

Below is a copy of a letter I mailed to Carol Burnett about a week ago.  Further below is the response I received from Ms. Burnett on Saturday, February 9th.

Dear Ms. Burnett:

I must admit that I am quite surprised to be writing you at this stage of my life.  I would consider any kind of letter written to you today to be about 40 years late. You see, I idolized you as a boy and never missed The Carol Burnett Show.  Without fail, every Saturday night at 10 o’clock, I sat perched in front of the TV in my pajamas and laughed myself silly.  There was something about you that made me feel warm inside.  I wanted you to be my mother, my best friend, and – yes – even my wife.  I guess even a boy of 8 can dream.

But the reason I am writing this letter to you is not because of what you did for me as a child, but rather what you’ve apparently done for my father today.  You see, my father was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s several years ago.  He’s 74 now and has digressed to the point of relying on my mother for constant care.  He still recognizes and knows his family, but everything else in my father’s past seems to have been forgotten.  At night, while sitting in my parents’ dining room, he tells my mother that he needs to go home.  Sometimes, he tells my mother that after dinner, they should go visit her mother.  But he does not remember that my grandmother died in 1987.  We’ll show him photos of places and people and he looks at them with blank stares.  We wonder what he’s thinking, probably as much as he wonders himself.

I was visiting my parents over the 2013 Thanksgiving holiday.  While my parents and I were watching TV in the living room, I channel surfed and came upon the broadcast of your receiving the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor at the Kennedy Center (congratulations, by the way!).  My father, who had been sitting quietly as usual, seemed to spring to life when your face appeared on the television.

“Ha!”, he laughed.  “My God, there’s your girlfriend.”  I sat dumbfounded for a second and could only mutter something like, “yeah, there she is”.  And then my dad looked at me and said, “Do you still love her like you used to?”  And I said, “Yeah, Dad, I still love her.”

My mother and I simply looked at each other in astonishment.  "Like you used to?"  This wonderful, sad man – whose life has completely slipped away from him, robbing him of sacred and treasured memories by the millions – remembered you; not because of what you meant to him, but because of  what you meant to his son.  "Like you used to?"  It was a moment I will never forget.  There’s no explaining how or why he’s been able to cling to this particular memory, but I thank God that he has.  How grateful I am to you.

I know you read your fan mail.  And I hope this eventually finds its way to you because you should know what you’ve given to me and my family.   I guess all I can say is thank you for being you.  And thank you for what you did for me as a child, and what you’ve done for me today.  May God forever bless you.

Now click HERE to read Ms. Burnett's response.

Facebook Ruins Friendships

Several times in my life, when I’ve found myself alone in new situations, I’ve selected a person from the crowd and told myself, “That is going to be my new best friend”.   Being naturally distrusting, I’ve always had a talent for being able to quickly size-up a person – a trait even my most recent supervisor was able to acknowledge.  “You read people exceptionally well,” she said.  It’s easy to remember this compliment, since compliments were actually few and far between from her.  But then, that’s why I loved working for her

Jeff and I met and became instant friends in 1989.  We met one night in a bar when I ran into Matt, an old high school chum, who introduced Jeff to me.  Having just broken up with my first boyfriend, I needed a new best friend.  And I decided right then and there that Jeff would be that person.  He was new to being out and this was actually his first night in a gay bar.  He knew nothing, so I saw myself as his new mentor.  When I had come out a few years earlier, there was no one to show me the way.  I knew no other gay men.  There was no internet.  So I set out by myself to observe, absorb and learn what I could, on my own.  For the first few years – at least in those days – being gay was all trial and error.  And it is only for the fact that I can “read people exceptionally well” that I am still here.

But where previous best friends had eventually gone by the wayside over the course of time, Jeff somehow remained in my life as a constant.  I couldn’t possibly count the number of hours spent in a vehicle driving back and forth from everywhere we went; countless trips to the only gay bar within 100 miles of our homes; driving 300 miles round trip just to be on a gay bowling league; several journeys to Rehoboth Beach in Delaware; two vacations to Disney World; not to mention the hundreds of thousands of dollars we spent on brunches, lunches, dinners and cocktails.  And when the time came for me to move 150 miles away, the unimaginable amount of time we spent on the telephone, talking a few times a week, waxing sentimental on days gone by and planning our next great adventure.

Over the course of one score+ years, Jeff was there with me through my college education, 5 boyfriends, 9 jobs, and 12 apartments across 5 cities – not to mention all the stuff that both goes along with and comes in-between.  I figured we would be best friends until one of us died.

And then we both joined Facebook.

The ruination of our friendship didn’t happen overnight.  And there were extenuating circumstances as well.  But I blame Facebook for showing me a side of Jeff that I had never seen in the 20 years I had known him.  About 6 years ago, Jeff went on complete disability from work, which gave him lots of time to sit at home and watch TV.  And his TV show of choice:  Fox News.  I could write thousands of words on why Fox News is not healthy for America, but millions have come before me already doing just that.   What I know is that Jeff is well-educated in what Fox News espouses.  I don’t have the time to sit and listen to the news all day, every day.  I know the topics, but not the minute details as Jeff knows them.

One of our last exchanges on Facebook took place 2 years ago.  It was during the winter that the Washington, DC area was crippled with several blizzards and snowstorms.   The exchange went something like this:

Jeff:  Well, what do all those global warming enthusiasts have to say NOW?

Me:  Actually, Jeff, global warming is expected to increase heavy precipitation in winter storms, and for the Northern Hemisphere, there is evidence that these storms are already more frequent and intense.

It can’t be freezing outside for months at a time and expect me to believe the globe is getting hotter.

Well think about it, Jeff.  Global warming affects the entire GLOBE.  So when it’s winter here, it’s summer someplace else.  And right now, there are record hot temperatures in Australia.

Well excuse me for having an opinion!

You can certainly have an opinion.  I’m just debating you with actual facts.

…

Hello?

There are a few people in my life who I love in person, and hate on Facebook.  When I mention this to other friends, their response is usually something like, “well isn’t it better to know the real person?”  But I have to wonder, then, who IS the real person?  Is it the person I laugh with, drink with, joke with in his company – or is it the person who posts “Obama is a foreign-born Muslim”?

I don’t shy away from confrontation.  I’ll confront a friend who posts “Sarah Palin for President” by telling him that supporting the Tea Party is essentially supporting an organization that wants to put me to death.  And I’ll confront the relative who posts “Mike Huckabee is my kind of people” after Huckabee posts that the cast of Duck Dynasty is just supporting good ol’ American family values.  And when a Christian posts that we should “keep Christ in Christmas”, I tell them that it might be better to start by “keeping Christ in Christian.”  I’ll do all this, but I shouldn’t have to.  And I didn’t have to before Facebook.

Since that exchange, Jeff and I have chatted briefly and even curtly, through Facebook; usually he is responding to a post from me just checking in on him.  But he never initiates a conversation.  And we haven’t spoken on the phone or seen each other since. In some way, I feel like I have failed Jeff.  When we met, he was a sheltered person who didn’t know anything about gay life and I think he looked to me as a guide.  And as time wore on, I think I continued to be the lead in for him on how life situations are handled, how to talk to people, how to get what you want.  And when I finally became so caught up in my own life, I left him on his own to figure things out.  And he did it through a source that I find troubling and surprising.

I wonder when my opinions no longer mattered to him.  I wonder when he decided to no longer trust my advice.  And I wonder how on earth we had even remained friends, let alone best friends, for over two decades if my presence in his life was so disposable.  I wonder . . . and it breaks my heart. 

And I have Facebook to “thank”.

Snowclones

I learned a new word today:  snowclone.  When I first heard it, I immediately pictured a snowcone.  But that's not correct. 

A snowclone is actually is a neologism for a type of cliche and phrasal template originally defined as "a multi-use, customizable, instantly recognizable, time-worn, quoted or misquoted phrase or sentence that can be used in an entirely open array of different variants".

An example of a snowclone is "Tupperware is the Cadillac of Food Storage", giving rise to the template "X is the Cadillac of Y".  X and Y may be replaced with different words or phrases—for example, "Behr is the Cadillac of paint."  And if you were a fan of the WKRP in Cincinnati: "Red wigglers, the Cadillac of worms!"

Orange Is the New Black is not only a great series on Netflix, it's also a snowclone.  There are hundreds of them, but here are other examples are:

• A few X short of a Y.
• Yes, Virginia, there is an X.
• This is your brain on X.
• My kingdom for a(n) X.
• There's no crying in X.
• X?  We don't need no stinking X.
• We're going to need a bigger X.
• Whatever Xs your Y.
   

The term snowclone has only been around for about 10 years.

Travel Manners: Gone, Baby. Gone.

On a recent flight, I noticed so much rude and self-important behavior, it made my blood boil.  Admittedly, it doesn't take much to set me off.  But when people - adults who should know better - are misbehaving, how will future generations act? 

First of all, boarding a plane should be the easiest thing in the world to do.  Everyone is given a boarding pass that clearly defines when it is your turn to board.  But there are folks out there who don't seem to think that this process pertains to them.  On a recent flight, a businessman (dressed in suit and talking on his phone) in boarding group 5 tried to board the plane with groups 2, 3, and 4, each time being told by the gate attendant that he would have to wait until his group was called.  He didn't seem phased.  He apparently thought himself too important to wait his turn.  I've seen this behavior on just about every flight I've been on recently.

When my flight landed at its destination, the passengers bum-rushed the cabin door.  It used to be, when disembarking from the plane, that everyone exited 1 row at a time:  all 6 passengers in Row 1, followed by the passengers in Row 2 and so on.  The flight was actually a bit early, so it wasn't like people needed to tight connections.  Again, people just don't think they should have to wait their turn.

And on every flight since 9/11, attendants inform passengers that it is illegal for them to congregate in the forward cabin; that if the restroom is occupied, to please stay seated until the room is free.  This request - or should I say regulation - doesn't seem to prevent people from doing just the opposite.  And every time, a flight attendant has to approach the passenger and ask them to take their seat and the passenger argues with the attendant, essentially until the restroom is available.

There was a time, not really all that long ago, when passengers would actually dress to fly.  By that, I mean men wore suits or at least jackets, and women wore dresses.  Today, some passenger look like they are in pajamas.  And carrying their pillows, no less.  When did a flight become a slumber party? This is not a place to stretch across seats or curl into a ball in your jammies.  Sit up like an adult and act accordingly.

And I know the concept is tricky to grasp because although we are INSIDE a plane, it also feels like we are OUTSIDE as well due to being in the air, but for all intents and purposes, please use your INSIDE voice when you speak.  And since we are in such a tight space, make it your SUPER QUIET INSIDE voice.  I shouldn't be able to hear your conversation over the din of the engines 3 rows back.

While you're at it, please choose the correct seating for your situation.  If you are one of those people who has to "go" every 30 minutes, please take the aisle seat.  And if the sunshine bothers you, please take the aisle seat.  I don't know why people who either constantly need to get up or pull the shade closed immediately upon sitting down chose a window seat.  Ludicrous.

I personally don't care what kind of hoops I have to jump through when it comes to security.  If it prevents a hijackers or bomb-enthusiast from boarding my plane, I am all for it.  It's the passengers who have ruined flying for me.

 

Fort Jefferson

A few weekends ago, Kevin and I took a trip down to Key West.  It was my first time driving through the keys and visiting the "southernmost point in the continental USA".  It's charming and picturesque.  And loaded with chickens.  But as lovely as Key West is, my ulterior motive for going there was to visit Fort Jefferson in the Dry Tortugas.

Any Lincoln Assassination buff worth his salt will know that Fort Jefferson was the prison where 4 of the Conspirators were sent to initially serve life sentences due to their flimsy participation in both the assassination and/or the failed kidnapping plot that never actually occurred.  One of the conspirators actually died on the island of yellow fever.  Perhaps the most famous prisoner was convicted conspirator Dr. Samuel Mudd.

Visiting Fort Jefferson would culminate my passion for visiting every site and location that had anything to do with the assassination.  I've lost count of the number of times I've been to Ford's Theater and the Peterson House.  I've visited the Surratt Tavern and Dr. Mudd's House, and I've traveled the escape route several times.  I've even visited Tudor Hall, the boyhood home of John Wilkes Booth.  But the one place I never ever thought I would get to see was Fort Jefferson.

Set on a small island about 70 miles off the coast of Key West, the Fort must be accessed by either boat or plane.  For me, being there was something unimaginable.  To be in the same spaces and see the same views and feel the same walls - it's why history is so exciting for me.  And the assassination story and the people involved will never stop fascinating me.  It's a feeling like I described when I visited John Wilkes Booth cemetery plot this past summer:  that when I stood on his gravesite, despite him dying 101 years before I was born, I was now just 6 feet away from him.  That's what gives me goosebumps about history.

I could give you lots of details about Fort Jefferson and our visit, but I will direct you to my friend Dave's website, BoothieBarn.  I took some photos that he posted so that everyone with the same interest could enjoy.  However, I will post here the video that Kevin created for me.  This really means something to me.  It's haunting and lonely and desperate, which is how I imagine the Conspirators - or any prisoner sent to this desolate place - would feel.

Where is Christmas?

It’s one week 'til Christmas, and in Miami-town

The palm trees are swaying, there’s no snow around.

There are beaches and cruise ships, not snowflakes and slush.

Instead there are swimsuits with buttocks a-plush.

No English is spoken; it’s all Spanish here,

Or Portuguese or Haitian are heard by the ear.

At midnight, children are out on Lincoln Road

Not home in their beds in their parents’ abode.

With mama and her boob job and dad in his shades

Pretending they make as much bank as Dwyane Wade.

There are people in sweaters, but it's 80 degrees,

“Just ‘cause it’s December, you’re not going to freeze!”

A tea in Starbuck’s red cup just ain’t the same.

There’s no need for cocoa, it’d set me aflame!

Home on the balcony I step out to see lights

But sadly, there’s little to see in the night.

There’s nothing to wondering eyes that appear

No trees or candles or menorahs down here.

 Not much Christmas spirit is spied from above,

No running around in hat, coat, and glove.

No greetings from strangers you pass on the street,

No holiday wishes from people you meet,

Not even "Feliz Navidad" from a dude.

It’s Miami after all - everyone here's so rude.

It’s all so depressing, and just not the norm.

I miss hustle and bustle - the whole Christmas storm.

It just isn’t “home” as I feel “home” should be,

It just isn’t Christmas, here in ol’ Miami.

And just when I think I can’t take anymore

I hear the sweet sound of someone at the door.

I listen to hear a brass key in the lock -

My "Bun" coming home from work at six o’clock!

He greets me with kisses (there’s never enough)

And I realize I don’t need all that other stuff.

'Cause Christmas is more than just lights on a tree,

It’s there with whomever you make family.

And I suddenly feel all warmed-up inside

Because he is my "home" - he’s where Christmas resides.

He’s my lights, my carols, my garland, my tree

All wrapped up so sweetly, and all just for me.

So whether it's hot or cold outside the door,

It’s always a “home Christmas”, with the man I adore. 

Merry Christmas, Everyone!!

Happy Birthday, Granny!

Had she lived, my maternal grandmother would be 104 years old tomorrow, December 14th.  She died in 1987 at the age of 77, and I've spent the last 36 years hoping that I've made her proud.  My mind is full of what-ifs.

When I was a boy, I spent just about every weekend with her at her house, usually just the two of us.  I'd watch TV and she would sit in her big recliner and read or crochet.  I still have the hat she made for me when I was 10.  It was during the country's 1976 bicentennial, so she made it red, white and blue.  On really cold days in Chicago, I'd still wear it.  Nothing kept me as warm.

I carry her spirit with me every day.  She was my hero and my champion.  And especially every December 14th, I miss the woman I loved so much.

Melted Plastic Popcorn

The melted plastic popcorn decorations were popular in the late 1960's through the 1970's and are enjoying a kitschy-cool comeback as vintage collectibles on Ebay and Etsy. Original pieces were made by The Kage Company, Inc., a plastic fabricating company in Hartford, CT.  The Kage Company went out of business in the mid 1970s and finding information on them is very difficult. Fortunately, it is still very easy to find your favorite pieces online from individual sellers.

They're called melted popcorn plastic decorations because they look like melted plastic shaped like popcorn. Older decorations, circa 1960, have edges that are not as flat and smooth as a newer melted plastic popcorn decoration.

Melted plastic popcorn decorations can been found in many shapes for the holidays. There are melted plastic popcorn decorations for all the holidays: Christmas, Easter, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Valentines and even melted popcorn decorations just for the fun of it. Snoopy, Tweety, The Road Runner, Pink Panther and Betty Boop have been immortalized in vintage melted popcorn plastic. A complete list of ALL the melted plastic popcorn items seems to be unattainable.  The prices range depending on the rarity of the plastic holiday decoration. They are designed to hang flat on a wall or door and the sturdy plastic stands up to tough weather conditions.

I grew up in a melted plastic popcorn home.  Every Christmas season, these decorations hung in our windows, including Santa Claus (both in a sleigh and standing with a tree, as seen above), Rudolf the Red Nose Reindeer, a few snowmen in different poses, and Christmas trees.  It would not have seemed like Christmas without these cheerful decorations (also the window clings that went in the bathroom window every year.  My mom doesn't do anything in the house without knowing how it will affect Christmas decorating).

Mom also had pilgrims and a turkey in our front windows every Thanksgiving.  I loved them so much, that my mom gave them to me when I moved to Chicago, ostensibly so I could feel closer to home.  It meant all the more to me knowing how much she treasured them.

Since then, I've obtained several ghosts, witches and black cats for Halloween, a few red hearts for Valentine's day, and even a flag that I can use for Memorial, Independence, and Veteran's Days.  While not quite an obsession, I do love these things.  I'll probably collect more along the way.  You can never have too much popcorn.

William Amos Troutman

The search to fill in the branches of my family tree began in 2002 with the discovery of this photo:

This was all I had to go on; there is no date on the photo, but there is an engraving in the matte that states the photo was taken by E.E. Conrad, the leading photographer of his day in Meyersdale, PA.  Upon discovering the photo, my mind boggled.  Who was this dashing man with the very familiar eyes?  Where did he live?  What did he do?  What was his story?  In an almost obsessive state, I set out to try to find the answers to these questions.

My father's genealogical history was murky. I've discussed it before on here.  Most of the older generations passed away while my dad was still young.  He mostly only knew nicknames of people, not their legal names.  And their relationships to each other were incestuous at best.  By that, I mean that there were two families that intermarried several times down the line, where the siblings of one family married siblings in another family.  This was not an altogether unusual practice in the 19th and early 20th centuries, especially in small, rural/farming communities.  The pickings might be unfortunately slim; your nearest neighbor might live a mile away; your schoolhouse might have 10 kids ranging in ages 6 to 14, five of whom are your own siblings.

But after more than a dozen years researching both my parents' respective family trees, pouring over census records, visiting cemeteries, connecting with genealogists, researching ancestry websites, and submitting for copies of birth/death/marriage certificates, I have successfully researched the trees back 14 generations.  The farthest person I have found is Collin McKenzie, born in Cromarty, Scotland in 1630.  Oddly enough, both my father and mother's lines descend from this man and his wife, Isobel.  But that's another blog to be written later.  

Out of the 14 generations, I place William Amos Troutman in the 6th generation (our new two great-nephews are the 1st). The first thing I learned about William was that I couldn't find any information on his parents or siblings.  There is no birth certificate on record for him.  So it took reading several censuses and obtaining a copy of his death certificate to put it all together.

Amos Troutman and Mary Rickard (or Richard or Reichard) had a tryst in 1876, with William being the illegitimate outcome.  I know Amos and Mary didn't get married because Amos is listed on the 1880 Census as being single and living at home in Southampton, PA. The 1880 Census also states Mary, still listed with her maiden name, as living with her parents, Jacob and Mahala Rickard, in Larimer Township, PA.  Also in the Rickard household was a 4 year-old William. It would seem that William was born out of wedlock in 1876 when Mary was 18 and Amos was 20. 

What is also interesting is that they (or she) named the baby William Amos Troutman.  The name "William" is prevalent in Amos' family line:  his father, grandfather, and great-grandfather were all named William.  Therefore, baby William Amos was named after his father and grandfathers.  I find this odd since the couple didn't marry.  The romantic in me wants to think that Amos and Mary wanted to or perhaps planned to marry but were forbade.  Although the realist in me believes Amos didn't want to marry Mary and she named the baby after his father and grandfathers out of spite. 

(It's important to note here that also living in the Jacob Richard household was a 1 year-old boy named Harvey Deal, who like William, is listed as Jacob's grandson in the 1880 Census.  It would appear that Harvey was the son of Mary and some other young man, perhaps with the same name as the boy.  We can deduce that Mary got around.)

At this point, Mary disappears from the history books.  Amos goes on to marry Isabel "Belle" Bluebaugh in 1882.  They had 9 children together.  I have no information as to whether William and Amos ever stayed in touch or if William even knew his half-siblings.  They all remained living in Somerset County in PA, however.

I am guessing the photo of William above was taken around 1900 when William was 24.  I can't think of a reason why he had the photo taken as he was not a professional.  As there was no national census between 1880 and 1910, I can only assume he was a laborer all his life.  He could neither read nor write, except for signing his name.

Some more information on William:

• 1908 - Married Cecelia Agnes Winebrenner on January 28th.  She was from Mt. Savage, MD.  I'm curious what brought William to MD to find a bride, not to mention one so young.  On their wedding day, William was 31 and Cecelia was 16.  They shared their wedding date with her father, John E. Winebrenner, and his second wife, Julia.  A photo of the big event is below, with William and Cecelia on the left.  Everyone looks so happy, don't they?

• 1910 - William and Cecelia were living in Mt. Savage, MD, along with her brother James Winebrenner, listed as a boarder in the household.  At this point, William was a laborer with the County Roads Department.

• 1918 - William, at the age of 42, was issued his WWI draft card.  He was not activated  to service. 

• 1920 - William and Cecelia were living in Frostburg, MD, along with 3 of their children, Mary, John (my grandfather), and Frances.  At this point, William was working as a coal miner.

• 1930 - William and Cecelia were living in Larimer Township (William's hometown) in a house he bought for $250.  John and Frances were still living at home.  William was working as a trackman with the railroad.

William Amos died on August 26, 1937, at the age of 61 - two years before my father, his first grandchild, was born.  According to his death certificate, William died as a result of carcinomatosis (cancer in his stomach, liver, and lungs).  Cecelia was 45 years-old when William died and would remarry.  Contrary to what is written in William's obituary, he was not a lifelong resident of Somerset County.

Per the obit, William is buried in White Oak Church cemetery in Larimer, PA, sharing a tombstone with two of his children, Anna Marie and Alverta - both of whom were complete surprises to Dad, Mom, and my sister when we visited the cemetery for the first time in 2005.