Thursday, November 09, 2006

Just Like The Pilgrims Did It

I love autumn. It is my favorite season. I love the colours, the smells, the temperature. Everyone looks instantly cuddly in their sweaters and scarves. And it's beautiful autumn days like today that remind me of a drive I took one November Sunday afternoon.

It was a beautiful autumn day and my ex-fiance, Crystal, and I decided to go for a drive. We were travelling down Old Route 9 just east of Oldtown, MD. It is an old, winding road with sharp turns and long straight-aways. And it was on one of these straight-aways when in the distance we saw a big clump of something laying just slightly off-center on the middle of the road.

"What do you think that is?" I asked my co-pilot.
"It looks like a garbage bag or something. Perhaps fell off a truck?", she guessed.
"Well there's no room to go around it. The jeep is high enough to clear it."

As we approached the bag, and were about twenty feet or so from driving over top of it, the garbage bag suddenly sprouted a head, a long neck, and wings! It was a damn turkey! I hit my brakes but couldn't stop in time.

"Holy shit!!", we both yelled. And I hit him going about 40mph with the grill of my jeep. His body flew up in the air, hit the windshield and disappeared. We came to a screeching stop and looked out the back window just in time to see this massive blob plop to the earth and remain motionless, feathers flying everywhere.

I looked at Crystal in amazement and said, "I can't believe I just killed a turkey."


  1. Turkey Killer.

    I'm hoping you at least brought it home for Thanksgiving dinner?

  2. It was tenderized at least.